FEEDBACK: IELTS WRITING TASKS MOCK TEST

I'm H.O Lawal, an IELTS tutor at Into University Educational Consults. I teach both physical and online classes.

This is my feedback for a test taker who had an 8.0 Band in her writing mock test.

I hope that you find it helpful. The answer sheets are attached to this post.

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

You are going to spend your vacation in a city in a foreign country. You have never been there before. Your cousin has a friend who lives there.

Write a letter to your friend. In your letter:

👉introduce yourself

👉say why you are making this trip

👉ask some questions about the city (eg, places to see, things to do, things to bring)

Write at least 150 words.

FEEDBACK AFTER WRITING

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Well done in your task 1 writing.

Take note and adjust the following subsequently:

THESE ARE MY BAND 9 CORRECTIONS:

👉You have not paraphrased the task 1 question in your introduction stating the thesis statement.

👉Your second paragraph should have come first because it's a part of the intro paragraph because it has the thesis statement.

See this example:

Dear Mary,

Season Greetings. This is Folashade, a friend to Bola, your coursemate while at the University of London, UK. I am coming to the UK in July and I would like to spend my two weeks' holiday with you in London...

👉 I noticed your wrong use of the first person pronoun, "I". When writing, it should be in the upper case.

👉 Remove the first paragraph and you're very good to go. It has nothing to do with coming first in this type of essay.

👉 I love the last three paragraphs as they address the other parts of the task.

👉 Your conclusion is also perfect!

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WRITING TASK 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the Internet have made it possible for people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Write at least 250 words.

FEEDBACK ON WRITING TASK 2

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In this task 2, you have also done a great job with your clear introduction that gives a general submission about the task topic (internet and modern technology). I love it.

However, take note of the underlined errors therein.

👉You've also vividly addressed the advantages and disadvantages of the topic which covers part of the TASK ACHIEVEMENT.

👉You've also linked the paragraph appropriately.

👉To me, your conclusion is perfect as it restated the benefits and gives a general submission.

👉I noticed you didn't give yourself enough time to do the post-writing steps we discussed in class.

👉Don't forget to spare a little time for editing and revising your essays. It'll save you a lot of marks you might lose to the penalty.

Contact me if you need help with IELTS Writing by filling out the form on the home page.

THANKS FOR READING!!!